Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
