I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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