Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
