WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
