How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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