Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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