turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
