remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
