how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
