So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
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had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
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Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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