i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
