so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
im holly from the hills drunk
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
