So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
