Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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