So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize