I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
