oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
