This girl is more easily done than said...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
