did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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