Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
