Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
