we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i think my mom watched the whole time
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
