Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
