Porn is love you can see.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
