This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Green mimosas i think yes
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
