I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
