Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
