your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
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