Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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