I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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