is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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