I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
There's always time for handjobs
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
