This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
