plz talk dirty to me
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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