There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
