I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
