my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
