he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
