You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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