She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
