I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
