New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
