So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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