It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
