haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
