But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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