he shaved USA in his pubs
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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