dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I need to sanitize my soul.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
