you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
