It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
