how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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