This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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