Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
