I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize