Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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