Joe is yelling at the trees again.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
