Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Terrible idea I love it
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
