dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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