So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My pussy is not your playground.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
