And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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