Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
That's when you crack a 10am beer
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
