I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
