Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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