wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
