Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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