idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
