Buhtt sex?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
